Here’s the legal stuff to protect me from Ken Starr

I did not … have … sexual relations with that woman … Miss BlewClinsky … because, unlike the President, I have taste. Whereas she just tasted the President. Sorry. Anyway, here’s the deal. We both know this, but I have to say this, hopefully to prevent any legal issues that may result. I didn’t make these movies. Like, duh. I’m not claiming any rights to these movies. Those belong to whatever the heck party made ’em. If you are one of those parties, and you have a problem with me featuring your movie on a web site, tell your lawyer to send me a letter, and I’ll remove it, no questions asked, no hard feelings. Capiche? Good.

The only thing I’m claiming copyright to is the text that’s on the pages. I wrote it. It’s mine. You may not copy it, distribute it, or publish it in any way, without my consent. If you do, I’ll conduct a $40 million investigation into your personal life and dig up any dirt I can possibly find.