Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb (review by Doug Smith)
“Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb,” a follow-up to 1959’s “The Mummy,” is your basic Hammer Horror film, with dismemberment and British accents galore. The story revolves around archaeologists finding a sarcophagus with an ancient Egyptian prince inside. Thank goodness for Tupperware. Unfortunately, someone forgot to burp the lid, and a little decay has taken place. At any rate, the mummy is awakened and goes on a killing rampage.
Terence Morgan plays Adam Beauchamp, the greasy, walking advertisement for Bryll Cream. Ronald Howard, who had to spend his whole life trying to evade being mistaken for the obnoxious redheaded guy that eventually embarrassed himself beyond words with “Willow,” plays John Bray. Fred Clark, a taller version of the Monopoly guy, portrays Alexander King. Jeanne Roland stars as the two-timing whore, Annette Dubois. And, finally, Jack Gwillim plays loveable drunk, Sir Giles. For you James Bond nuts, Jeanne played Bond’s masseuse in “You Only Live Twice.” Also of note, Gwillim played Van Helsing in 1989’s “The Monster Squad,” in which some kids had an adventure, just like the Goonies.
The movie starts off in Egypt, with Bray, Sir Giles, and Dubois at the end of an expedition, on which they found the sarcophagus and treasures of a famous Egyptian prince. King, being the sponsor and typical money grubbing, American bastard, wants to put all of it in his circus. “See the amazing dead guy wrapped in toilet paper! He’s squeezably soft!”
Now, what’s a mummy movie without the normal curse? That’s right, “anybody who opens a pharoah’s tomb is doomed to die horribly.” Is there any other way to die? I mean, even dying in your sleep could be construed as pretty horrible. Anyway, on their way back to England on a Carnival Cruise Line, someone steals John’s documents, attacks Sir Giles and attempts to kill John. Enter Adam Beauchamp. In a fit of femmy punches, Adam manages to knock the would-be killer overboard. Annette, who you can immediately tell is a cheating slut, is instantly smitten with Adam and blatantly shows it, even though her boyfriend, John, is right there.
Adam invites John and Annette to stay with him in London. Gee, do you think he has ulterior motives? Nah. Once there, John discovers Annette was given a medallion. Not just any medallion, mind you, but the medallion that’s necessary to raise the dead. John takes it, proceeds to do whatever the heck it is that archaeologists do with artifacts, and, even though he’s supposed to be observant, has it stolen right out from under his nose. Okay, boys and girls, do you know what’s about to happen? Very good! That’s right, the mummy comes back to life and starts killing the profaners of the tomb.
The cinematography is the high point of this particular movie. Other than that, it’s your basic mummy-comes-back-to-life-and-goes-on-a-killing-spree film. There is, however, an unusual twist to it. The villain actually turns out to be the mummy’s brother. There’s also a definite anti-American tone. I’ve seen this in a lot of films made in other countries, and I honestly don’t know why. In this one, it seems that the common consensus is that Alexander King is just like any American. I’m sorry, but not all Americans are money grubbing little turds. Now then, be sure to visit my page often, so I can get a lot of hits and sell advertising space at insanely high dollar amounts. Oh, and I give this one 1 1/2 yaks.